>> 20050827
11:30 PM
SCREWED! CONDAMNED! NOT TO BE REDEEMED. haiz, im nowhere, even though i grow everyday and study everyday. nth makes me any more mature, any more responsible, any more independent. today i made a choice. i went out to play with my friends andy and alvin. though its juz a choice, and this may seem as so simple, so nth wrong, yet perhaps its fate that when i take things too much for granted something ill will befall me. and this is how it is- i lost my wallet, together with student pass and IC!!! its like 80 bucks juz to make new ones, and complicated, for i am penniless, it may be, wait till my mom finds out abt it. shes has yet to be told of the truth. when that happens, im gonna be so dead. ah, wanna let if all go! have this thinking: since the higher we climb, the harder we fall, then if we are nv happy, then it wouldnt be that bad when we become sad. well, wats the point in life then? i really dunno. HELP ME! exams are juz around the corner, and here's more stress to add to blowing load alr in my mind. nth is gonna work. not sweating, not squashing, not letting those andreline out, not something would make things better... or perchance there is. if i cant make myself feel good, making others happy would make me glad too. so yes! heres a balanced equation. when im down, i direct all energy towards her, and there, the resultant is null, is zero, such that no more frustration lingers.
as i was feeling down today, my 2 friends tried to cheer me up. thanks guys. great company. oh, we did stupid things to loosen up a little- we prank call ppl... andy did most of the job as i refuse to talk. mostly, we were ringing gals up, and saying horny things and trying to stir something up, and most of them wasnt too affected and laugh coldly before hanging up. poofs, boring. some are quite interesting, as we hear how blur they were at first. it was getting late and we had to go. i had no wallet, no bus pass, so i took a slow walk home. good xinyi doesnt go out with me anymore. ): but nvm. lalala. got home eventually. oh, its 11.55pm! and tml is a special day! at least to someone dear. im gonna to wish her happy birthday now. chao.