well. Os really getting to me fast and furious. i got no time to breathe. prelims came and gone quickly enough and i haven recovered from it yet. i got 26 points for prelims, but fortunately i got my dsa. stressing up when i see how much work i needa catch up on and how far ahead my classmates are alr. but that aint all thats in my mind.

i dunno, at this point, whether i have feelings for her anot. dunno if i had let go alr or have juz shelved things. im so not secured nor affirmed, feeling is like dragging my feet, restricting me and eating me. dunno what to do completely. there are times wehn rx would tell me im always bothered with gal problems. but issit really so? i haven really expressed my feelings or done anything that i can just pull myself out of everything and wipe my hands clean of it? but i know i do like u, before and maybe still. im unsure of my own feelings. sigh. then my mei maria would tell me to go for someone who would like me back. that is unlikely. firstly its not me- i dont juz prey on anyone or someone else juz simply like tat. secondly, i still think i have feelings for u. well, its all strange. i always ask myself like why i like u.. i know u for more than a year, yet only met up once. its stupid of me to believe that u will like me or develop such feelings for me since we r like ppl from 2 poles. but its not just poles apart. i really cherish our friendship, but when i wanna bring it further, i have this sense of inferiority- i feel that im not good enough for u. having thought abt all these, it all goes back to this consciousness that i wont expect anything from u.. just to know u r happy will make my day.
love you before, love you still, will love u always