>> 20070111
11:00 PM
its quite late now to say this. its alr 2 weeks into the new year. haha. i have reflected on the last year- 2006, and wanna try make 2007 a better year, so i gonna start it fresh and well, put all my past behind. so far, i can say tat its all been going fine. and fun. =) orientation at ac is a whole new experience, the people i meet there are great and nice, and really theres nth more i would hope for in ac.
in a nutshell, 2007 has started prettily and positively. all the feelings of wearing the new jc uniform, mixing around more with girls and feeling more like a grown up certainly put meaning and purpose into my life.
however, there is still a tinge of negativity in my perspect of a new life- that is my low self esteem. i know xinyi has told me its an unattractive trait, and that i should be more confident. but then, its not that i dont want to. the past has scar-ed me and i know im not as steady as before especially in handling my own emotions. then my good pals have been mocking at me, about how a loser i m having no gf for 2 years +. not that it is such a big thing to have gf, but i do think sometimes that i m quite a failure. i guess i dont face up to challenges and opportunities bravely and well enough.
ok. wad else can i say then? i shall post my honest thoughts here. hope my dear mei dont find this cheezy too. haha. i think, since abt a month ago, i started to like this someone. yes, someone whom i would find staring back in a particular manner leaving me sucha feeling of being so at home? mei, dont laugh! if u would ask me for sth with more substance as to why i like her, i say its very much this quote i heard from somewhere -"what actually makes u feel most vulnerable, is actually most important to u." hm, i have found someone to be kinda nice since, but i dunno! dunno whether i should or could let her know as it might just spoil everything. dang dang dang. so reminded of the song "sth stupid" by robbie williams. dunno la. hm... i dont deserve anything, m not good enough for nobody.