>> 20090307
3:15 AM
dear readers.
today, march 6th 2009, the day A level results came out for us, was as dramatic for me as it could have been.
about 4 months ago, in the midst of sitting for A levels, i thought my result gotta be crap, at most all Cs for my H2 subjects. at that time though, i didnt really think much about the implications of that assumed result. then, my thought was as long as i tried my best, there should be no regrets.
but today, when i got my results, my three H2 subjects were CCD, and at this moment i thought, where can this land me in. its even difficult to get into the least competitive engineering courses. correction, people actually tell me its impossible. so then it seems, its G_G for me. at first i thought i wasnt gonna be affected by it cause i had already expected this kinda results. thought there ought to be a way out of this. but as relatives and parents and friends ask abt my result, followed by the m$ question "so what are u gonna do", it just destroyed me. the feeling gets worse each time someone ask that question, knowing that i have faint chances of going to a uni. i could blame on squash, i could blame on other people, but ultimately, i myself am the biggest sucker of all, for not being able to cope and deal with my own life, manage my own time and practise discipline.
i did try to mug my ass off the period after prelims. i only managed to pass one subject for prelims which was really a wake up call. but however i tried, time and expertises werent on my side. i only managed to get the following results.
H1 GP ... D
H1 Bio ... B
H2 Maths ... C
H2 Econs ... C
H2 Physics ... D
although there seem quite an significant improvement, this way of thinking is merely nothing more but a self-deceiving one. if i had worked harder or started earlier, its definitely possible for better grades. to have your life torn apart just because a little more time and a little more effort had not been put in and a little too bochap attitude, really really cant suck more than anything else.
at this juncture, i have to apply for uni admission just like everyone else, but also apply to resit for the 2009 A levels. if somehow i manage to be accepted into a uni, i will be refunded for my application to resit for A levels. if i do not get accepted into any uni, i have a few options.
A) try to re-admit into acjc and take A levels again in 2009. have to defer NS asap.
B) resit for A levels in 2009 as private candidate. will down PES immediately to have more time to study.
C) go to poly after serving army, but i will down PES anyway, so might as well just resit for A levels in 2009 for a try.
i will not consider other options for now. but if, friends, yall have some good suggestions or recommendations i will be glad to hear them.
the next phase of my life, will very much be determined by determination itself and discipline as well. so its high time i get down to cultivating as much of them as possible, and hopefully i get to see some light at the end of the passageway.